227) Judge Dredd (1995)

227) Judge Dredd (1995) Dir: Danny Cannon Date Released: June 1995 Date Seen: July 11, 2010 Rating: 2.25/5

I swear, growing up in the '90s inured me to more spectacularly trashy movies than most normal people with standards or just a sense of decency can tolerate. How eroded is my taste, you ask? Well, remember when I live-tweeted Joel Schumacher's Batman and Robin? And lived? Yessir, an iron constitution, hup hup.

At the same time, there are certain films that have gained nigh-totemic power over me simply because I always saw them on the shelf of my local Blockbuster, but never took them out. Showgirls is one of those films, certainly, if not the king of those films. Jade is one of those films. And Judge Dredd was, too. My viewing experience upon finally seeing this Schumacher-era comic book adaptation--all thumbs, no sense--was as a result fairly surreal. The film is a total mess but I cannot, ahem, judge it for the life of me. It's rather charming in its own clumsy way: the big robot, the inability to translate the tacky humor of the original comics, which the people who made the film clearly used for their source material (Rob Schneider, a derpa derpa dum!), the stoopid "I knew you'd say that" running gag Stallone's got going throughout the film, the Diane Lane vs. Joan Chen cat fight, the ridiculous production values...this is my Kryptonite. Don't look at me, I'm hideous!