Monday, April 29, 2013

Halloween 2013: Meh

331) Chillerama (2011) Dir: Adam Green, Joe Lynch, Bear McCreary, Adam Rifkin, and Tim Sullivan Date Released: October 14, 2011 Date Seen: October 27, 2012 Rating: 3/5

332) Invaders from Mars (1986) Dir: Tobe Hooper Date Released: June 11, 1986 Date Seen: October 27, 2012 Rating: 2.5/5

333) Dracula 3000 (2004) Dir: Darrel Roodt Date Released (TV): August 9, 2004 Date Seen: October 27, 2012 Rating: 0.75/5

Three-fourths of this year's annual Halloween Movie Marathon (the missing film being Horrors of Malformed Men, briefly mentioned here). I can't take credit for picking either Chillerama or Dracula 3000 (those are Bill Best picks!). But I did sadly pic the Invaders from Mars remake. Because I don't really know better. So, basically:

Chillerama: This Troma-inspired horror-comedy anthology is pretty stupid, and totally reliant on high-concept gags that are vigorously run into the ground. But I mostly enjoyed these shorts' one-note jokes. Still, loopy performances from Joel David Moore (Adam Green's "The Diary of Anne Frankenstein," probably the best short in the bunch) and Ray Wise (Adam Rifkin's "Wadzilla") are what you should watch this portmanteau film for. Because honestly, who thinks "I was a Teenage Werebear" is an inherently hilarious idea? Don't answer all at once.

Invaders from Mars: like Lifeforce in that director Tobe Hooper and Dan O'Bannon seem to be grinding their gears hard without accomplishing much, though Invaders mostly blah while Lifeforce is just deliriously stupid. Also like Lifeforce, Invaders' juvenile, pseudo-tongue-in-cheek sense of humor, particularly during the alien scenes (it's all about sex, kids, look, even the aliens look like giant, evil gonads!), is consistently uninspired. The same is true during Invaders' relatively expensive-looking military scenes, which are just boring. Still, I can't say no to any movie that gives me so much sexy Karen Black goodness. Because wahoo, sexy Karen Black, be mine!

Dracula 3000: Has one or two preposterously bad moments of note, including Udo Kier's video diary log from the Daedalus, and a scene or two with Coolio in it. But yeah, I have nothing good to say about this film except that it ended.

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