412) Triangle (2009)

412) Triangle (2009) Dir: Christopher Smith Date Released (DTV): February 2010 Date Seen: November 23, 2009 Rating: 1.75/5

Everything that made Severance, writer/director Christopher Smith's rousing horror comedy, so effective is absent in Smith's follow-up, Triangle. Triangle can be best dismissed/described as Timecrimes on a boat: a group of young folks go on a weekend get-away, get swept up in an inexplicable squall, board a mystery ship and get hunted down by a masked killer who turns out to be one of them stuck in a time loop. The repeating cycle of events that leads said protagonist back to the scene of the crime, at the same moments in time to boot, is interminable and almost completely lifeless. Save for a twist or two, the film's trajectory is completely devoid of humor or any kind of enlivening details. Smith's characteristic style of humdrum dialogue, which positions his characters as real people in generic peril, is sorely wanting here as its monotony is only broken up by the tedium of the film's bland plot twists. It's a long, pointless march to a foregone conclusion that's blindingly obvious from the get-go. If you don't suspect something's up by the end of the prologue, you really need to watch more movies; might I suggest the vastly superior Timecrimes? I think I might've mentioned that one before...