Cannes Round-up! Cannes Round-up! Rock Lobster! I mean, Cannes Round-up!

Because there's no way I could fit all the titles of the films for this post in a single headline. Get ready to scroll.

171) Bellflower (2011) Dir: Evan Glodell Date Released: August 5, 2011 Date Seen: May 11, 2011 Rating: 4.25/5

172) Sleeping Beauty (2011) Dir: Julia Leigh Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 11, 2011 Rating: 4.25/5

173) We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011) Dir: Lynn Ramsay Date Released: December 2, 2011 Date Seen: May 12, 2011 Rating: 2.75/5

174) Hard Labor (2011) Dir: Marco Dutra and Juliana Rojas Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 12, 2011 Rating: 3.25/5

175) Polisse (2011) Dir: Maiwenn Not Yet Released, Thank God Date Seen: May 12, 2011 Rating: 1.5/5

176) Puzzle of a Downfall Child (1970) Dir: Jerry Schatzberg Date Released: December 16, 1970 Date Seen: May 12, 2011 Rating: 4/5

177) Habemus Papam (2011) Dir: Nanni Moretti Not Yet Released, Sadly Date Seen: May 13, 2011 Rating: 3.75/5

178) Miss Bala (2011) Dir: Gerardo Naranjo Date Released: October 14, 2011 Date Seen: May 13, 2011 Rating; 3.75/5

179) Ninja Kids (2011) Dir: Takashi Miike Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 13, 2011 Rating: 3.25/5

180) Footnote (2011) Dir: Joseph Cedar Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 13, 2011 Rating: 2/5

182) Good Bye (2011) Dir: Mohammad Rasoulof Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 14, 2011 Rating: 3.5/5

183) Pina (2011) Dir: Wim Wenders Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 14, 2011 Rating: 4.25/5

184) Kid with a Bike (2011) Dir: Jean-Pierre and Luc Dardenne Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 14, 2011 Rating: 3.5/5

185) Wu Xia (2011) Dir: Peter Chan Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 14, 2011 Rating: 3.25/5

186) Take Shelter (2011) Dir: Jeff Nichols Date Released: September 30, 2011 Date Seen: May 15, 2011 Rating: 4.25/5

187) Stopped on Track (2011) Dir: Andreas Dresen Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 15, 2011 Rating: 2.25/5

188) Martha Marcy May Marlene (2011) Dir: Sean Durkin Date Released: October 21, 2011 Date Seen: May 15, 2011 Rating: 4/5

190) Outside Satan (2011) Dir: Bruno Dumont Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 16, 2011 Rating: 3.25/5

191) Le Sauvage (1975) Dir: Jean-Paul Rappeneau Date Released: April 1977 Date Seen: May 16, 2011 Rating: 3/5

192) Le Havre (2011) Dir: Aki Kaurismaki Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 17, 2011 Rating: 3.75/5

193) Beauty (2011) Dir: Oliver Hermanus Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 17, 2011 Rating: 1.75/5

194) House of Tolerance (2011) Dir: Bertrand Bonello Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 17, 2011 Rating: 3.75/5

195) Pater (2011) Dir: Alain Cavalier Not Yet Releaed Date Seen: May 17, 2011 Rating: 2/5

196) Melancholia (2011) Dir: Lars von Trier Date Released: November 11, 2011 Date Seen: May 18, 2011 Rating: 3.75/5

197) Loverboy (2011) Dir: Catalin Mitulescu Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 18, 2011 Rating: 3/5

198) Tatsumi (2011) Dir: Eric Khoo Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 18, 2011 Rating: 2/5

199) Ichimei (2011) Dir: Takashi Miike Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 18, 2011 Rating: 1.75/5

201) The Skin I Live In (2011) Dir: Pedro Almodovar Date Released: October 14, 2011 Date Seen: May 19, 2011 Rating: 4.25/5

202) The Minister (2011) Dir: Pierre Schoeller Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 19, 2011 Rating: 4/5

203) The Day He Arrives (2011) Dir: Hong Sang-soo Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 19, 2011 Rating: 3.75/5

204) Drive (2011) Dir: Nicolas Winding Refn Date Released: September 16, 2011 Date Seen: May 19, 2011 Rating: 3.75/5

205) This Must Be the Place (2011) Dir: Paolo Sorrentino Date Released: December 2011, apparently? Date Seen: May 20, 2011 Rating: 4.25/5

206) Once Upon a Time in Anatolia (2011) Dir: Nuri Bilge Ceylan Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 20, 2011 Rating: 3/5

207) Oslo, August 31st (2011) Dir: Joachim Trier Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 20, 2011 Rating: 3.75/5

208) Beloved (2011) Dir: Christophe Honore Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 21, 2011 Rating: 3.25/5

209) Elena (2011) Dir: Andrei Zvyagintsev Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 21, 2011 Rating: 3/5

210) The Artist (2011) Dir: Michel Hazanavicius Date Released: November 23, 2011 Date Seen: May 22, 2011 Rating: 3.5/5

211) Hanezu (2011) Dir: Naomi Kawase Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 22, 2011 Rating: 2.25/5

Ok, here's most of my Cannes 2011 coverage, organized by outlet:

Nomad Wide Screen: here, here and here.

The L Magazine: here, here and here.

Fandor: here and here.

157) Hesher (2010) and 170) Midnight in Paris (2011)

157) Hesher (2010) Dir: Spencer Susser Date Released: May 13, 2011 Date Seen: May 3, 2011 Rating: 3.75/5

169) Midnight in Paris (2011) Dir: Woody Allen Date Released: May 20, 2011 Date Seen: May 11, 2011 Rating: 3.25/5

Two very different kinds of festival darlings, both worthy in their own way. See my reviews for Nomad Wide Screen.

Cannes 2011 Fund-Raising A-Go-Go

Hello, friends. 

I am writing to you today because I am trying to raise money for a trip to the 2011 Cannes Film Festival. For about a year now, it's been a goal of mine to go to this year's festival and in spite of a number of factors, I find I can't do without independently raising a bit of scratch. So yeah, I know this makes it seem like I'm aping that D'Angelo guy and for that, I'm sorry. 

But I do need the money, folks: I can't seriously pursue a dream project like this without draining pretty much all of my finances. I kinda live hand-to-mouth even after living at home mostly because of the cost of commuting, student loans and up until December, health insurance payments. 

But I do want to go to Cannes and I do think I can do this. I have three outlets interested in coverage and they will be paying me some. But not nearly enough to get there on my own steam. Keep in mind: I'm also looking to finally move out of my Great Neck home this year. Two years at home has been really helpful for me but it's also taken its own toll, too. So yeah, if I can do this thing without totally going bankrupt, I'd sure like to give that a try.

First, the good news: theoretically speaking, I have my flight plans taken care of. I don't want to say anything about this yet as I don't want to jinx it. There is nothing set in stone but I think I can manage to fly there and back for little to money with a lot of help from the wonderful and generous Rachel McCain and her douchebag boyfriend Jon Lanthier. 

S'more good news: I know I will be rooming with at least one person, Monsignor Glenn Heath Jr., and we have a hotel scoped out, one that offers a complementary shuttle.

Finally, the not-so-good news: in light of all this, I want to raise $1,250-1500. I tried to get Kickstarter to help me reach that goal but they told me that my project was just not a "Creative Arts Project," even though I have seen them previously finance similar endeavors. I cajoled them and insisted, "No, no, this is a creative arts project: I'll throw arts-and-crafts-type blog posts! With pictures! And a podcast! And make the project about documenting my first year at Cannes!" They encouraged that change in focus right up until they stopped communicating with me altogether; I didn't get an email back about my proposal in a little more than a week. So I resubmitted my idea, this time incorporating all the changes that I was told would make my proposal more viable. I got two generic, unhelpful and totally vague responses. We shan't be using Kickstarter now or ever again. 

Here's where you come in: for just pennies a day (well, hopefully several thousand pennies) you can support a starving freelance film critic. Or something. Look, honestly, I know this thing is highly unrealistic and I probably can't meet the goal I'd like to. But let's humor me and try for a bit. Right. So, you can give to my Paypal account using the "Donate" button to the right or below in this very post. Or you can go to Paypal and give (generously) to simonsabrams@hotmail.com. Any donation is a big help but obviously the more you give, the more I'll truly respect you as a human being. 

Ahem. 

I'll keep you posted as to how close I am to meeting my goal and hopefully, it'll happen sooner rather than later. Thanks.


 Note: As of 12:56am on 2/13/11, we've raised $325. I'd like to think our donors thus far: Phil Tatler, Bill Best, Kevin J. Olson, Dor Dotson, Kenji Fujishima, Zengkun Feng, "Two Sisters Crochet" and Tobias Ximenez. Thank you so much.