Cannes Round-up! Cannes Round-up! Rock Lobster! I mean, Cannes Round-up!

Because there's no way I could fit all the titles of the films for this post in a single headline. Get ready to scroll.

171) Bellflower (2011) Dir: Evan Glodell Date Released: August 5, 2011 Date Seen: May 11, 2011 Rating: 4.25/5

172) Sleeping Beauty (2011) Dir: Julia Leigh Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 11, 2011 Rating: 4.25/5

173) We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011) Dir: Lynn Ramsay Date Released: December 2, 2011 Date Seen: May 12, 2011 Rating: 2.75/5

174) Hard Labor (2011) Dir: Marco Dutra and Juliana Rojas Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 12, 2011 Rating: 3.25/5

175) Polisse (2011) Dir: Maiwenn Not Yet Released, Thank God Date Seen: May 12, 2011 Rating: 1.5/5

176) Puzzle of a Downfall Child (1970) Dir: Jerry Schatzberg Date Released: December 16, 1970 Date Seen: May 12, 2011 Rating: 4/5

177) Habemus Papam (2011) Dir: Nanni Moretti Not Yet Released, Sadly Date Seen: May 13, 2011 Rating: 3.75/5

178) Miss Bala (2011) Dir: Gerardo Naranjo Date Released: October 14, 2011 Date Seen: May 13, 2011 Rating; 3.75/5

179) Ninja Kids (2011) Dir: Takashi Miike Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 13, 2011 Rating: 3.25/5

180) Footnote (2011) Dir: Joseph Cedar Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 13, 2011 Rating: 2/5

182) Good Bye (2011) Dir: Mohammad Rasoulof Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 14, 2011 Rating: 3.5/5

183) Pina (2011) Dir: Wim Wenders Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 14, 2011 Rating: 4.25/5

184) Kid with a Bike (2011) Dir: Jean-Pierre and Luc Dardenne Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 14, 2011 Rating: 3.5/5

185) Wu Xia (2011) Dir: Peter Chan Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 14, 2011 Rating: 3.25/5

186) Take Shelter (2011) Dir: Jeff Nichols Date Released: September 30, 2011 Date Seen: May 15, 2011 Rating: 4.25/5

187) Stopped on Track (2011) Dir: Andreas Dresen Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 15, 2011 Rating: 2.25/5

188) Martha Marcy May Marlene (2011) Dir: Sean Durkin Date Released: October 21, 2011 Date Seen: May 15, 2011 Rating: 4/5

190) Outside Satan (2011) Dir: Bruno Dumont Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 16, 2011 Rating: 3.25/5

191) Le Sauvage (1975) Dir: Jean-Paul Rappeneau Date Released: April 1977 Date Seen: May 16, 2011 Rating: 3/5

192) Le Havre (2011) Dir: Aki Kaurismaki Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 17, 2011 Rating: 3.75/5

193) Beauty (2011) Dir: Oliver Hermanus Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 17, 2011 Rating: 1.75/5

194) House of Tolerance (2011) Dir: Bertrand Bonello Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 17, 2011 Rating: 3.75/5

195) Pater (2011) Dir: Alain Cavalier Not Yet Releaed Date Seen: May 17, 2011 Rating: 2/5

196) Melancholia (2011) Dir: Lars von Trier Date Released: November 11, 2011 Date Seen: May 18, 2011 Rating: 3.75/5

197) Loverboy (2011) Dir: Catalin Mitulescu Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 18, 2011 Rating: 3/5

198) Tatsumi (2011) Dir: Eric Khoo Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 18, 2011 Rating: 2/5

199) Ichimei (2011) Dir: Takashi Miike Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 18, 2011 Rating: 1.75/5

201) The Skin I Live In (2011) Dir: Pedro Almodovar Date Released: October 14, 2011 Date Seen: May 19, 2011 Rating: 4.25/5

202) The Minister (2011) Dir: Pierre Schoeller Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 19, 2011 Rating: 4/5

203) The Day He Arrives (2011) Dir: Hong Sang-soo Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 19, 2011 Rating: 3.75/5

204) Drive (2011) Dir: Nicolas Winding Refn Date Released: September 16, 2011 Date Seen: May 19, 2011 Rating: 3.75/5

205) This Must Be the Place (2011) Dir: Paolo Sorrentino Date Released: December 2011, apparently? Date Seen: May 20, 2011 Rating: 4.25/5

206) Once Upon a Time in Anatolia (2011) Dir: Nuri Bilge Ceylan Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 20, 2011 Rating: 3/5

207) Oslo, August 31st (2011) Dir: Joachim Trier Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 20, 2011 Rating: 3.75/5

208) Beloved (2011) Dir: Christophe Honore Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 21, 2011 Rating: 3.25/5

209) Elena (2011) Dir: Andrei Zvyagintsev Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 21, 2011 Rating: 3/5

210) The Artist (2011) Dir: Michel Hazanavicius Date Released: November 23, 2011 Date Seen: May 22, 2011 Rating: 3.5/5

211) Hanezu (2011) Dir: Naomi Kawase Not Yet Released Date Seen: May 22, 2011 Rating: 2.25/5

Ok, here's most of my Cannes 2011 coverage, organized by outlet:

Nomad Wide Screen: here, here and here.

The L Magazine: here, here and here.

Fandor: here and here.

168) Thirteen Assassins (1963) and 281) 13 Assassins (2010)

168) Thirteen Assassins (1963) Dir: Eiichi Kudo Not Yet Seen Date Seen: May 9, 2011 Rating: 3.75/5

281) 13 Assassins (2010) Dir: Takashi Miike Date Released: April 29, 2011 Date Seen: July 3, 2011 Rating: 2/5

I have a feeling that people would have disliked Miike's movie more if they had been able to see Kudo's original first. But who knows? To my mind, 13 Assassins is the beginning of Miike's current cold streak (though I did kinda like Ninja Kids). See my piece on why Miike's remake just doesn't cut it for PressPlay.

209) Yatterman (2009) and 211) Eastern Condors (1987)

209) Yatterman (2009) Dir: Takashi Miike Not Yet Released Date Seen: June 25, 2010 Rating: 4/5

211) Eastern Condors (1987) Dir: Sammo Hung Kam-Bo Not Yet Released Date Seen: June 26, 2010 Rating: 3.75/5

Ah, a weekend at the NYAFF, watching good movies with good-sized crowds on big screens--at the Walter Reade, no less! Read my earlier interview with Miike for Twitch, in which I test my "What's your favorite hard drug?" question and my NYAFF 2010 opening weekend report for the NY Press.

153) Crows Zero (2007)

153) Crows Zero (2007) Dir: Takashi Miike Date Released (DVD): May 2009 Date Seen: May 31st, 2009 Rating: 3.25/5

Rather than bow down before Takashi Miike's ability to represent punk mentality, I will say this: the man certainly knows what punks like to think they are. Crows Zero is like a punk's comic book fantasy, a story where inarticulate young thugs scowl, put their hands in their pockets and act out because hyper-stylized violence and factionalism is fun. At least, it's certainly fun to watch in bits and spurts.

After a while, Crows Zero loses momentum and the plot feels like a means to an inevitable epic schoolyard ass-kicking. Miike proves he can be serious about something as inconsequential as the raging hormones that leads up to a contest of adolescent tough guy wills and makes a fun, if not seriously drawn-out, movie about and for young punks. If you've been hankering for a J-pop, manga pose-filled final fight, make yours Crows Zero.