331) Fright Night (2011) and 332) Spy Kids: All the Time in the World (2011)

331) Fright Night (2011) Dir: Craig Gillespie Date Released: August 19, 2011 Date Seen: August 20, 2011 Rating: 3/5

332) Spy Kids: All the Time in the World (2011) Dir: Robert Rodriguez Date Released: August 21, 2011 Rating: 2.25/5

Not really surprised, in either case, though I am pleased that Gillespie's remake is better than average. See my reviews for Nomad Wide Screen.

302) Machete (2010)

302) Machete (2010) Dir: Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis Date Released: September 2010 Date Seen: September 26, 2010 Rating: 3.5/5

I'm always surprised at the venom that some of Rodriguez's films inspire. This to me was only slightly less satisfying than Planet Terror but in some ways, it's better. For instance, I love the fact that for once, Rodriguez actually made a grindhouse movie that's about something. It's not just a mindless homage to various disparate grindhouse elements, it's a movie that, like those exploitation movies, stands for something. He gets sloppy when trying to make his point about illegal immigration come across but I think that's true of most exploitation filmmakers. He's not an inspired craftsman, just an enjoyably spazzy one with signature preoccupations and quirks (a poor man's auteur, sure, but he is one, certainly). I had a lot of fun with this and that's saying a lot because I was expecting a lot worse based on the reviews I skimmed before seeing it.

Also, what the crap are you people smoking re: Steven Seagal's performance? He's as terrible as he ever was in this. Because he's Steven fucking Seagal. Mind it.

31) From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

31) From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) Dir: Robert Rodriguez Date Released: January 1996 Date Seen: January 31, 2010 Rating: 3/5

From Dusk Till Dawn seems like a can't-miss high-concept film from director Robert Rodriguez and screenwriter Quentin Tarantino--vampire brothel. Nuf said. The film has a stacked cast of character actors ranging in stature from Harvey Keitel to Fred Williamson and make-up special effects by Tom Savini. How do you screw this one up?

Well first of all, to enjoy From Dusk Till Dawn, no matter how low your expectation may be already, you really need to winch 'em down several more notches. From Dusk Till Dawn spends about half of its 106 minute length getting to the vampire brothel in question, during which time Mr. George Clooney, still fresh-faced and short-haired after his recent residency on E.R., and Mr. Tarantino, wanted fugitives both, take Mr.Keitel and his two kids as hostages as they make their way down to Mexico. This is only as enjoyable as Rodriguez's modest reserve of humor allows it to be. Tarantino's script shows his green-ness, which isn't that much more mature than his later seasoned scripts but it's a sight more inept here in its dearth of enlivening detail.

Once they get down to the brothel, Rodriguez's zeal carries the film but even then, one has to keep in mind that his action scenes are only as worthwhile as they are energetic. They're not expertly choreographed and they're not particularly memorable. But they are sufficiently bouncy. The rest you can take or leave pretty easily but for a bit of mindless fun on a cold Sunday afternoon, you could do a lot worse than this cocky little horror-actioner.

252) Shorts (2009)

252) Shorts (2009) Dir: Robert Rodriguez Date Released: August 2009 Date Seen: August 15th, 2009 Rating: 1.75/5 

Just as creatively lame as Spy Kids. See my review for Slant Magazine.

246) Spy Kids (2001)

246) Spy Kids (2001) Dir: Robert Rodriguez Date Released: March 2001 Date Seen: August 11, 2009 Rating: 2.5/5

How can a pet project be this bland? Rodriguez crams in so many creative decisions that only he would think of--while Alan Cumming's Willy Wonka/Michael Jackson baddie works in a citadel that looks like Gaudi's version of Chuck E. Cheese, Cheech Marin and Danny Trejo play super-smart super-spies--but spends the bulk of the film's runtime in doing nothing with them. Once again, he shows off why he's an artisan and not an auteur, focussing more on the sophistication of the film's special effects than in the actual content.* Infrequently some disarmingly funny gags crop up and the film's sense of wonder finally kicks in for a spell once the kids reach Cumming's castle--for my sake, think pure thoughts, sports fans--but never enough for me to really care for the characters or their dopey "Family first" mumbo jumbo. 

*That's not necessarily a terrible thing; Rodriguez's earnestness and inability to see the forest for the trees makes him more consistently entertaining as a filmmaker than his partner-in-crime Quentin Tarantino. This comes across best when you compare their entries for Grindhouse, I think, but also works if you were to compare either their bodies of work over time, too.

If we're going to take an inventory, I'll say that I like the polished showmanship of Jackie Brown and Kill Bill but only enjoy the cocky/grating dialogue of Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs every other viewing and can't stand the dismal build-up and minimal payoff of Deathproof. As for Rodriguez, I like most of Desperado and El Mariachi and would probably enjoy Once Upon a Time in Mexico more if I were to rewatch it and ditto re: Planet Terror. I haven't seen From Dusk Til Dawn but I strongly dislike Sin City, probably because its the only film where Rodriguez is announcing his candidacy for auteurship by biting off a lot more than he can chew. "Strict adaptation" unfortunately does not necessarily mean "Daring artistic vision."