198) Jonah Hex (2010)

198) Jonah Hex (2010) Dir: Jimmy Hayward Date Released: June 2010 Date Seen: June 19, 2010 Rating: 0.5/5

This isn't a finished film. Five editors have had at this thing and it shows. It's not consistent enough to be called a finished film: the closest thing to a defining ethos our eponymous scarred hero (Josh Brolin) has--he tells us at the beginning of the film that he's a proud badman and confederate veteran--is fundamentally undermined after a black buddy (Lance Reddick) reveals he (Hex) was never opposed to slaves having rights. All of the spectacularly cartoonish violence, all of the bizarre little flourishes that Neveldine/Taylor scripted (some of which were actually shot) is diced up well beyond recognition and nothing in the film A) makes sense B) is fun C) could stop the screaming. After a point, probably when I saw Megan Fox in a corset that revealed the black hole where her rib cage should be, I found myself praying for sweet oblivion. Then I got lunch. But holy freeholy: this is the worst movie of 2010.