Sunday, July 29, 2012

Fuck This Movie.

231) Snow White and the Huntsman (2012) Dir: Rupert Sanders Date Released: June 1, 2012 Date Seen: July 22, 2012 Rating: 1/5

And the award for most incompetently helmed/blocked/covered/directed film goes to: Rupert Sanders for this piece of shiiiiiit.

Seriously, I have not (recently) been more viscerally put off by the utter clanging incompetence of a filmmaker's approach to already cheesy material than while watching Snow White and the Huntsman. I checked my watch when I was 30 minutes in and the remaining 90 minutes felt like an eternity. If nothing else, this ridiculous attempt to Nolan-ize a Grimm fairy tale--think of it as Snow White Begins, which I'm sure is how it was sold at a pitch meeting--makes me appreciate just how good Christopher Nolan movie is at making, well, Christopher Nolan movies. 

There is no soul, no wit and no guiding intelligence to this pseudo-dark take on the character's story or her world (ooh, the wicked witch may or may not be schizophrenic and she eats hearts and OH FUCK THE FUCK OFF). All of the film's cast members, from the winningly vampish Charlize Theron to the totally wasted (har har har) Chris Hemsworh, were underserved by Sanders's grossly incompetent, Cathryn Hardwicke-level direction. Sanders does not even know how to hold a shot on an actor. His camera is as restless and Hardwicke's often is and the man clearly did not know how to shape his film in the editing bay. Because fuck me, this film was chopped up beyond comprehension. If you're tempted to watch this film, please see headline and repeat as necessary.

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