378) Godzilla Raids Again (1955) Dir: Motoyoshi Oda Date Released: May 21, 1959 Date Seen: November 23, 2012 Rating: 3/5
379) Old Dracula (1975) Dir: Clive Donner Date Released: The Fuck if I Know Date Seen: November 24, 2012 Rating: 0.75/5
380) We're Going to Eat You (1980) Dir: Tsui Hark Date Released: *shrugga* Date Seen: November 24, 2012 Rating: 3.25/5
Godzilla Raids Again: I shouldn't be surprised that Raids Again, Gojira's first sequel, is as underwhelming as it is. It's not directed by Ishiro Honda, or scored by Akira Ifukube, so that's two strikes already. Raids Again also doesn't have the same alarmist zeal, or even a compelling human story. Still, I got my kaiju-fightin'-fix, so I'm OK.
Old Dracula: This was something of a holy grail acquisition that I lost interest in once I got my hot lil hands on it. I knew it'd be dreadful, but I didn't know it'd be BORING. I mean, really boring. I'm giving the film 0.75 stars only for David Niven swanning about as a terribly bored, and yes, not-young Dracula. But otherwise: eesh. In the film, Dracula turns his Transylvanian estate into a tourist attraction, so he's also a relic in the film, and boy, does it show. The jokes aren't funny, the set pieces aren't compelling, and the filmmakers are clearly out to lunch half the time. Oh, and Teresa Graves gets to do nothing as Drac's ingenue. I mean, holy shit, man, how do you fuck up so badly that not even Teresa Graves and David Niven can make me care? There is this trailer, and it's the best thing about the film. Otherwise, avoid avoid avoid.
We're Going to Eat You: By Hark's standards, this is pretty sedate. There's some weird Texas Chainsaw Massacre cues in it, and some funky fight scenes, but a lot of the humor in this clangs. And I say this as a Tricky Brains fan. So, like, whoa, watch out. Still,there's enough endearing weird-ness here to make Hark's cannibal spy spoof worth a look. I'm not wild about it, and I wish I were, is all.